His Impeccable Skills in Irritating Me
by PeriwinkleLouise xx
Summary: Hermoine is fed up with her current predicament but doesn't know how to go about this situation without either making a fool out of herself, being shunned by her best friends or worse, being rejected!


Disclaimer: I am a super Dramoine shipper but I don't own them in a way that the great J.K. Rowling does. She made the Princess and brains of the Golden Trio and the cunning yet handsome Slytherin Prince. The Dramoine fandom owes her their shipper heart. Kudos to you J.K. Rowling! But I couldn't help but be a little disappointed that you never decided to make this star-crossed lovers pair a reality. Yet, all the same and more thanks to you! 3 3 3

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Chapter I: A Misfortunate Fortunate Encounter

I have never thought that the day I dreaded to come was now staring at me with vicious cold intensity that I am forced to look away even for the slightest of moments.

"What? You scared Granger?" His word filled with spite and I could tell that he was smirking like the twat he is at this precise moment where I am caught in a very compromising position. A position where a lot of teenage girls would be giddy to be in. "Fuck you Malfoy!" I said as I turned to face the scum of Hogwarts and the bane of my existence. Draco-fucking-Malfoy. Great mess i'm in really. Imagine my misfortune when of all people I could ever had this misfortune in, It had to be this snake. Ugh! I looked at him and smugly proclaimed. "You think you're high and mighty well think again Malfoy!"

"That means no?"

"No! Hell no! Who do you think you are? I refuse to sully my pristine self with your icky mouth! Goodness knows who or more precisely what has been in that thing!"

"Tut-tut Granger you don't know what this thing could do to you and what sounds I could-" I slapped him before he got even close to finishing that sentence.

"How dare you think of such vile things! I will never! Never will I ever come close to kiss you're slimy mouth you retard!"

"Is that a dare Granger? Cause if it is consider it done! By the end of the week you'd be begging my "slimy mouth" to kiss those pretty lips of yours!" The arrogance of his voice is overwhelming considering that I had just slapped his face like with three times the strength I did when I punched him in third year. He continued to rub his face all the while I was fuming like a dragon.

I looked at him with such hate for maybe a few minutes and decided I couldn't take it anymore and well... I kissed him on the cheek just to get as much distance as I could from him. It worked! Damn that mistletoe!

"Fuck you!" I decided to say that for good measure and stormed away as fast as I could. Hiding my obvious embarrassment by running towards my room.

The fucktard decided he could laugh and be haughty. I'm so freaking irritated I could just smash the walls to get to my dorm faster. "You will baby. You will" he called off as loud as he could. The audacity of that man! And then I shrieked for all it's worth. I had to or else I'd burst like a bubble.

I wonder how I get myself into these circumstances particularly with the king of ferrets himself Malfoy! That little fucker has done enough damage to last his lifetime and that of his children. He will be the death of me or maybe I could just end the ferret before he does me.

But of course I won't. I'm a Gryffindor for goodness sake! I'm as brave af on other things but when it comes to problems regarding the heart I'm a freaking coward! I can't even make decent conversation with the bastard that stole my heart and it gets even worse because all we do is throw insults and basically make each other's life as hellish as one thinks hell is, so yeah. it's hard enough as it was a few weeks ago when I started to feel a bit more anxious whenever I see him. Imagine the horror when my heart starts to go on a fucking marathon every time someone mentions his name. But it was much worse when I realized that I fancy the stupid fucktard that no amount of self talk and scolding could revoke. I'm in deep shit. Like, really.

Oh and in case you were wondering who the man in question is...

It's Draco-fucking-Malfoy.

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So that's the end of this chapter.

I will be more than happy to read any comments, suggestions and most especially criticisms!

Till next time! xo


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